Friday, January 20, 2012

A very good article

http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/01/04/off-leash-dogs/

Couldn't have said it better myself, probably because every time I attempt to type something like that I have to walk away after a few minutes to keep myself from spontaneously combusting with suppressed rage.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

More information

http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/11/health/living-well/food-allergies-schools/index.html?hpt=he_c1

I have questions about this story. They address the issue of students not knowing that they are allergic until they have a reaction, but I don't think they ever come out and say that this girl didn't know. If she did, why did she take the peanut? And if she didn't, what was a peanut doing outside at recess? At my elementary school we were only allowed to have food in the cafeteria or when handed out by a teacher, for custodial reasons as well as health ones.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Here we go again

http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/04/health/virginia-allergy-death/index.html?hpt=he_c2

The tragedy is unsettling, but what's worse is the loud, angry debate found in the comment section, and in the comment section of every other story like this. "The kid should've been homeschooled!" "All children have rights!" "Not my kid, not my problem!"
It's the reason I'm afraid to ask for anything. It's frightening and unfeeling and callous, but mostly it's tiring. I am so sick of this. Will this issue ever be resolved?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Just stop provoking them!

While I was attending school I was told by several teachers that they couldn't help me with the bullying I was experiencing because I had provoked my tormentors. If I would simply relax about the whole peanut thing no one would have to hurt me and everything would be fine. 
I still can't help believing that it was my fault. 
My clothes weren't nice enough. I couldn't wear makeup or dye my hair. I wasn't pretty enough or didn't study hard enough or didn't do enough to hide my allergies. And so it was my fault because I'd provoked them. 
And I'm still sorry.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Am I allowed to cry?

When I was in seventh grade I had a bad allergic reaction while shopping with my father in a store that had several open bins of peanuts. My throat burned and I had trouble breathing, and although I took Benadryl, showered, and changed my clothes, I coughed for the rest of the night. The next day I was terrified to go to school. In the past I'd tried to talk to my teachers about class parties or snacks that were going to be provided during standardized testing, and they'd brushed me off or told me not to worry so much or, in one case, assured me that it would be okay, then later pulled me out of the test because they'd been wrong, but threatened to call my mother when I cried about it. I never wanted to have another allergic reaction, and I didn't know how I could go into a place that wouldn't let me protect myself.
My mother talked to my assigned counselor and to the office staff while I clutched her jacket, thinking that she might relent and take me home if I acted childish enough. I was twelve, and after she'd left one of the adults snapped at me to knock it off. They'd promised my mother that I could spend the day alone in a classroom and have all my work brought to me, and that they would try to work through this with me, but the teacher who was supervising me got in my face and threatened me in a low and deadly voice when I put aside my math to write a poem, and scornfully told me that I wasn't fooling anyone when I started to cry.
The same things happened when I was bullied, when I was afraid to attend a certain class. I would be sick and in pain and never, never want it to happen again, but when I said I was scared I was told, "No you're not. You only want attention, and everyone knows it."
I don't know how to deal with the things I'm feeling now, when I think back to when I was going to school and wonder if people at college will treat me differently, because I've half-believed for years that they were right. That I wasn't really traumatized, that I'm still not, and that I'm just trying to manipulate people for attention. I try not to let people see me when I'm emotional, because what if they realize I'm trying to manipulate them? But don't I have real emotions too? Am I ever allowed to cry?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Oooh, I'm embarrassed.

Poodleface and I went to see a display of Christmas trees in town, and for the second time, someone snuck up on him and startled him enough that he barked.
I am so embarrassed.
This time instead of an adult creeping toward him at a museum it was a small child who ran two circles around him before leaning over and trying to see his jacket. I probably wouldn't be quite as embarrassed, but only a few minutes before I'd been explaining to an event coordinator that my dog is a service dog and has to be allowed in.
I know this isn't my fault, but I feel like somehow it is.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Not good

Here's an article I found this morning. It talks about the recent rise in food allergies in children.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/25/health/plastics-perfumes-new-allergies/index.html?hpt=he_c2

I don't like where this is headed. I can say from experience it's very difficult for two people, both with severe allergies, although to different things, to spend time together without making each other sick. I'm not sure how the world will function if this gets much worse.